neilnevins:

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

(via zackisontumblr)

halalbarbie:

halalbarbie:

i was watching gone girl w my mum and she’s like wow amy is crazy and im like………….but he literally cheated on her and didn’t even know her blood type 

my mum’s like honey she killed an innocent man for no reason…………ok but he took her pudding and told her she needed to lose weight and dye her hair back to how he liked it…he had to go

(via laughcentre)

powerburial:

youwanttthed:

powerburial:

cool college guy recipe:

  • hot dog on pizza

what you will need:

  • hotdog
  • pizza
  • oven

ingredients:

  1. 1hotdog
  2. preheat oven
  3. hotdog on pizza
  4. pizza in oven
  5. microwave timer set to 20 minutes, smoke a bowl and toss the  pigskin cuz thats what cool college guys do t hese days they are jock/stoner hybrids
  6. 6 ding fries are done hot dog pizza

Do you do weddings

i do whatever the hell i waint

(via zackisontumblr)

humansofnewyork:
““My older brother was my hero growing up. Everyone called him ‘Jise.’ He was this hip-hop dude. People loved him, especially the girls. Everyone knew when he walked into a room. I was the opposite. I blended into the crowd. I was...

humansofnewyork:

“My older brother was my hero growing up.  Everyone called him ‘Jise.’  He was this hip-hop dude.  People loved him, especially the girls.  Everyone knew when he walked into a room.  I was the opposite.  I blended into the crowd.  I was quiet.  I made straight A’s.  I liked comic books and action figures.  So I always looked up to him.  He was murdered one night in 1989.  Somebody shot him.  I was fifteen at the time, and I just kind of gave up.  I thought our family was curs…ed.  I always had this feeling that I was up next.  So it was like, ‘What’s the point of being good?’  I dropped out of school.  I started hanging out with the wrong crowd.  We started robbing people.  I never actually took anything myself.  I just tagged along for the adrenaline high.  Even at my lowest, part of me was always the same good kid.  I always held down a job.  I wrote poetry.  I kept dream journals.  Whenever we were getting into trouble, my friends would always tease me.  They’d say: ‘This isn’t you, man.  Why are you here?’  Hip-hop saved me.  It gave me a voice.  I started doing open mic nights.  I took all those dream journals and turned them into lyrics.  I joined a group called The Arsonists.  We toured all over Europe.  We pressed a lot of records.  Of course I always held down a second job.  My proudest moment was when they wrote about us in The Source.  My stage name was ‘Jise,’ in honor of my brother.  It was like I’d gotten us both there.”

(via humansofnewyork)

coocoo-for-kokoro:
“ ragemite:
“ ragemite:
“ ragemite:
“ ragemite:
“ shmepard:
“ ragemite:
“ cpwiser10:
“ ragemite:
“ Hello! This lil cherry wants to go on an adventure, where should i send him?
”
He might like a camping trip!
”
What a great...

coocoo-for-kokoro:

ragemite:

ragemite:

ragemite:

ragemite:

shmepard:

ragemite:

cpwiser10:

ragemite:

Hello! This lil cherry wants to go on an adventure, where should i send him?

He might like a camping trip!

What a great idea!

image

Unfortunately people dont make tiny tents for cherries, but at least the fire kept him warm!

where should cherry go next?

he could go to space & meet a tiny fruit alien :3

That sounds wonderful!

image

Look at him go!

Where should we send Cherry next?

image

Of course!

image


Where should cherry go next?

image

Sounds like fun!

image

the mermaids didnt seem to want to play but Cherry still had a good time seeing all those fish!

aww looks like the lil guy’s all tuckered out from his adventure today, thank you for helping him, he had a great time!

image


I’m so happy this post didn’t turn into something violent or gross. I love cherry <3

(via laughcentre)

humansofnewyork:
““I lost my job last week. I was there for six years. It was the first job I’ve ever lost. It’s hard not to take it personally when someone tells you that you’re not needed. There were ten people on my team, and I’m the one they...

humansofnewyork:

“I lost my job last week.  I was there for six years.  It was the first job I’ve ever lost.  It’s hard not to take it personally when someone tells you that you’re not needed.  There were ten people on my team, and I’m the one they chose.  So my mind has been running through all the possible things I could have done wrong.  The first few days were the hardest.  I spent a lot of time crying.  But m…y birthday was a few days ago, and my friends took me out for a taco night.  And it woke me up.  I started laughing.  I couldn’t even remember why I’d felt so sad.   My life was so much bigger than that job.  I’m healthy, I live in a wonderful city, and I have a great group of friends.  I just lost a small piece of the pie.”

(via humansofnewyork)


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